Sex Addiction Counselling and Sex Therapy

 

Private Sex Addiction Counsellor in Kent

Confidential and sensitive sex addiction counselling and sex therapy with David Goodlad through Canterbury Healthcare. David specialises in providing a confidential and sensitive sex therapy, sexual compulsion and sexual addiction counselling service.

Read statements from David’s patients here.

Worried Man

Do you need to understand the difference between sex addiction and affairs or betrayal?

Do you want to learn the difference between sex addiction, sexual habits and sexual compulsion?

Are you looking for an experienced sex therapist?

 

Sex addiction sexual compulsion counselling in Canterbury. My name is David Goodlad and I am the senior sex addiction counsellor for Canterbury Healthcare. I have been a psychotherapist counselling sex addicts for over twenty years. I provide sex addiction counselling in Kent for men and couples, helping them come to terms with their feelings of shame, fear, betrayal and anger. The research indicates that up to 8% of men using the internet in Kent are experiencing addiction level problems.

 

Sexual addiciton and Sexual Compulsion Treatment Programme

 

My sex addiction and sexual compulsion treatment programme is available Monday to Friday. As well as single weekly therapy sessions I provide a viable alternative to inpatient treatment. Each of my clients receive a tailor made programme that is bespoke to their needs. The sexual compulsion treatment programme runs in half days, two to three times weekly.

 

I also help partners of sex addicts express and understand their own feelings. I help both parties through a very difficult time. I can help you understand how to get your feelings across in a sensitive manner, so each gains a better understanding of the devastation caused.

 

Understanding Sex Addiction

In men the process of becoming a sex addict and engaging in compulsive sexual behaviours often begins at an early age. Sex addiction can and does take many forms.

 

Early in their development the sex addict may have had direct contact with or access to a sexual image, a sexually active person or a sexual experience that affects a ‘split’ in their sexual awareness and preference. This can very often affect the ability of the sex addict to be emotionally intimate. A sex addiction counselling programme can really make a difference in understanding and addressing this.

 

In general, sex addicts will have a socially acceptable level of interest in sex ‘on the surface’ and construct an illusion as such. At the same time a ‘covert’ interest develops in ‘observing’ sex in a manner that is remote, objective (rather than subjective) and almost entirely without intimacy or emotional connection. This often leads to the development of ‘non personal’ sexual encounters, leading to ‘cold’ encounters with escort services or carefully chosen ‘anonymous partners’ through on line dating sites.

 

Sex Addicts

The sex addict will have effectively created an outward illusion that all is normal, and an inward delusion that allows them to continue. They will invest a lot of energy in keeping up the facade and hiding any evidence that might expose their behaviour. It is definitely treatable.

 

The progression of the problem can ultimately lead to constant or obsessional fantasying, acting out or having multiple sexually driven affairs, always with a ‘partner at home’ in complete ignorance. Even at this stage a sex addiction counselling programme can help to turn things around. The act of sexual addiction takes many forms. Various mediums are utilised and various activities engaged in.

 

The attitude of ‘non personal sexual encounters’ is one that partners of sex addicts often battle to understand the most.

 

When the deceit and covert sexual behaviour is found out, partners of sex addicts often look to themselves for the reason or the cause of their partners devastating behaviour, and constantly ask ‘why did you’ or ‘how could you do this to me’.

 

He has helped repair countless marriages and relationships blighted by sex addiction. He has a structured and caring approach. Call  01227 290 098  for a confidential appointment with a qualified Psychological sex addiction therapist. David also consults to the Priory Clinic Canterbury.

 

Sex addiction help in Kent

Maidstone sex addiction counsellor

Do you want to talk to an experienced sex addiction counsellor in Maidstone Kent? I am only 40 mins from ME14 4QN.

Are you looking for sex addiction counselling in Maidstone Kent? I am only 40 mins from ME14 4QN.

 

Ashford sex addiction counsellor

Would you to talk to an experienced sex addiction counsellor in Ashford Kent? I am only 30 mins drive from TN24 0PS.

Are you looking for sex addiction counselling in Ashford Kent? I am only 30 mins drive from TN24 0PS.

 

Gillingham sex addiction counsellor

Experienced sex addiction counsellor in Gillingham Kent. I am only 40 mins from ME7 1XE.

Are you looking for sex addiction counselling in Gillingham Kent? I am only 40 mins from ME7 1XE.

 

Rochester sex addiction counsellor

Do you want to talk to an experienced sex addiction counsellor in Rochester Kent? I am only 40 mins from ME4 6PN.

Are you looking for sex addiction counselling in Rochester Kent? I am only 40 mins from ME4 6PN.

 

Gravesend sex addiction counsellor

Do you want to talk to an experienced sex addiction counsellor in Gravesend Kent? I am only 40 mins from DA11 0HP

Psychiatric Assessments in Harley Street London are also available please contact me for more information.

 

Sexual compulsion

The facts on sexual compulsion can at first seem vague at best. There is very little meaningful UK based research on sex or pornography addiction. In the US addiction academics have being studying the sexual behaviour and sexual preferences of sex addicts for some time.

 

This is a fact – On August 15, 2011 the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) issued a public statement defining all addiction including sexual behaviour addiction in terms of brain changes. “Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry”.

 

Sensitive, effective help is available now from our highly experienced and qualified sexual addiction therapists. We will help you understand what constitutes being a sex addict. Sex addiction counselling is at the core of the services we provide.

 

Types of sex addiction

Sex addicts spend a great deal of time obsessing about sex, planning it, hiding it, recovering from it (through shame and guilt), trying to stop it, searching for it (in many forms), looking at it, listening to it, watching it, feeling uneasy when they can’t access it,  the list goes on.

 

In sex addiction laptops are generally preferred to mobiles when watching porn, but mobiles are preferred to desktops when sending and receiving anonymous pictures with sexual imagery. Anonymous email accounts when accessing covert dating sites are preferred to making contact through a traceable Facebook account. However, Facebook accounts are generally preferred for mild ‘on the hoof’ flirting.

 

Activities range from sending and receiving explicit personal images to casual contacts to meeting complete strangers for one off casual sex. Facebook images are copied of people known to the addict. Chat rooms, private rooms and dating sites are generally activities that are engaged in as a cluster, but there are no hard rules. The variations are as endless as the imagination.

 

Are you a sex addict?

 

Generally:

You will spend a good deal of time doing it, thinking about it, hiding it, recovering it, feeling ashamed about it, regretting it or avoiding it

You will do it much more than when you first started

You will make promises to yourself about it that you don’t keep

You will feel agitated, anxious, depressed or generally ill at ease when not able to do it

You will do other activities specifically in attempt to stop being tempted

Your will loved ones feel concerned or even betrayed by your actions, or would do if they knew the truth about your behaviour

You are not alone. Read on …

 

General pornography statistics

 

34% of internet users have experienced unwanted exposure to pornographic content through ads, pop up ads, misdirected links or emails

Every second £2000 is being spent on pornography on the internet

35% of all internet downloads are related to pornography

Every second 28,258 users are watching pornography on the internet

25% of all search engine queries are related to pornography, or about 68 million search queries a day

Every second 372 people are typing the word “adult” into search engines

One third of porn viewers are women

2.5 billion emails sent or received every day contain porn

Every 39 minutes a new pornography video is being created in the United States alone

 

Sometimes rehab is the preferred option. David Goodlad supervises rehabs and is able to offer information on choices available and provide suitable aftercare.

 

 

Youth pornography statistics

A significant relationship exists among teens between feelings of loneliness, including major depression and frequent pornography use.

Pornography viewing by teens negatively affects the critical developmental phase teenagers ordinarily go through in order  to learn how to explore their sexuality in a healthy way; these teenage years are when we are at most vulnerable to uncertainty about our sexual beliefs and moral values.

Teenagers with frequent exposure to sexual content on TV have a substantially greater likelihood of teenage pregnancy; and the likelihood of teen pregnancy was twice as high when the quantity of sexual content exposure within the viewing episodes was high.

Adolescents exposed to high levels of pornography have lower levels of sexual self-esteem.

 

Sex addiction in one form or another has always been present across all sections of society, documented throughout the centuries. Often ‘culturally denied’ but always there under the surface.

Broadband internet has caused an explosion of sex related addictions. Social media has taken to another level. We think our online activity is secret. When online we think we can do what we like, when we like and with who we like in complete anonymity. This is true, until we are found out and are forced to face the consequences.

 

Understanding the process of Sex Addiction

For lasting change to take place, the entire scope of the problematic sexual behaviour must first be explored. Each and every acting out behaviour needs to be explored, understood and identified in a complete, systematic and ordered manner. This should involve listing all sexual addiction behaviours and examining them in terms of Common Risks, Regrets, Motivation, Consequences and Time.

 

Common Risks

Being in situations or places where loss of control happened before

Being in conflict with other people

Experiencing unwanted feelings such as hostility, depression, anxiety and not knowing how to cope.

 

Regrets

These regrets are always personal, hidden but speak for themselves; all must be specified in order to protect the sex addict against future relapse. This is the key to increasing awareness, giving power over doubt as to what changes can be achieved.

 

Motivation

Understanding the initial motivation to perform the action and what actually happened as a result is critical.

 

Consequences

Increased awareness is the key to change. By examining the justification and results of the problematic action, a deeper awareness of the associated consequence is caused.

 

Time

Not being impatient. Making ‘time’ work for you, rather than causing time to work against you; time can be a great friend as well as a great healer.

 

For a private consultation with a fully qualified therapist call 01227 290 098

email office@davidgoodlad.co.uk

 

Anger Management – Couples Counselling – Relationships -Depression – Addictions – Alcohol Counselling – Co-Dependency Counselling

David is able to see client’s strictly by appointment only and his practice adheres to the BACP and FDAP code of ethics for practice.

 

A professional counselling service from a fully qualified Psychological counsellor within easy reach of Canterbury, Herne Bay, Dover, Folkestone, Deal, Whitstable, Maidstone, Sittingbourne, Ashford, Faversham, Gillingham, Rochester, Gravesend, Sandwich. One minute from Canterbury East Station.

 

Maidstone sex addiction counsellor