Patient Testimonials – Client statements
I just wanted to say thank you for all your help dealing with my porn addiction.
I came to David in Oct 2016, its a date I will never forget.
Before I met David I had been addicted to pornography for over 20years, my wife and the love of my life had finally asked me to leave because of my addiction.
I was sitting in a small room in a bed & breakfast crying & trying to figure out what to do next.
I said “I’ve got to change if i want to save my marriage”, I started looking on the internet for help.
There is not much out there, then I found Davids website. I emailed the number asking for help not expecting anything. I got a phone call from David saying he was in his office picking something up and he saw my email which flashed up and it sounded desperate.
We spoke for about 10mins and he booked me in for the Monday.
I can honestly say from the first time we met I felt better, over the weeks I came to realise how my addiction had ruined my life.
The turning point for me was to come to the understanding that I was powerless against my addiction.
From that point my life started to change.
I lived apart from my family for about 6 months, the hardest time of my life but with Davids help I got through it.
Now I’m back with my wife, I can honestly say we”re having the best time of our lives.
My marriage is strong, I’m porn free now for over a year.
I have a strength I never knew, I used to always feel ashamed, bent over unworthy.
Now I stand up straight, look people in the eye, I have nothing to be ashamed of.
David is the kindest person I’ve ever met, he’s a straight talker there’s no deceiving him.
If you decide to come to see David you just need to be honest with David and yourself.
I can’t change the past. When I think about the person I was it turns my stomach but I can make sure the person I was never comes back again and with Davids help I have done and am doing just that.
I just wanted to take the time to thank you and show my appreciation for all of your help last year. I can honestly say that I can finally wake up in the morning both sober and ready to face whatever life throws at me. Also, I am now off all of my medication with no anxiety or panic attacks plus I have a positive outlook to the future and life in general.
The headaches and other health problems have calmed and almost passed. It still amazes me how powerful the mind can be!! I honestly don’t know what I would have done without your help, I’m glad our paths crossed. Both myself and my wife are both looking forward to the arrival of our new baby. I’m slightly nervous about what to expect however this has been outweighed by the excitement.
I just really want to show my gratitude for everything you have done for me and my newly growing family.
“David Goodlad gave me strength and understanding, the tools to cope with the difficulties of life, and the confidence to live happily with a firm foundation in my heart and mind. I had been to see a counsellor before, which was of some support at the time, but now having been to meet with David I can see that they were light years apart in terms of skill, knowledge and investment. If you are reading this, then you are no doubt considering contacting David to start on your journey – well I can only urge you to take the first step, and then put yourself in David Goodlad’s highly gifted hands.
I found David Goodlad after a thorough search online for specialist therapists in Kent. After a brief exchange of emails, I was confident that he had the correct skills to deal with my specific needs, and I was determined to tackle my problems head-on with his help. David is superb at his job; it is vital for a therapist to have a complete understanding of a situation, without bias, and be armed with experience, appropriate references, compassion, intelligence, and to find the specific skills and ammunition for each person to take away.
David approached each session with a warmth and understanding that is positively disarming; and was able to push me to look for answers within myself. Sure I may have squirmed on more than one occasion, but it was never uncomfortable; I knew that I would only regain control of my life if I was honest with him. David’s wealth of experience allowed him to explore several unexpected areas of my life and my personality, and helped me to understand how it all connected to my current circumstances. I always left with a deeper understanding of self, and no matter how complex the ideas we discussed, I was never confused. With the common ground of music and fatherhood, I felt I was talking to a friend, and I am certain that we shall remain in contact for many years to come. ”
I came to Dave, more or less as an ultimatum from my wife. I was reluctant, in denial, angry and embarrassed.
By the end of the first session, I saw that Dave was a man I could trust and that I could talk to. Over the following weeks, we discussed my addiction and he showed me how my supposed resolve was utterly powerless in the face of the compulsion I had. By breaking down the causes, the components and the origins of my addiction, he helped me to see the delusion that I had put myself under and the damage that I was doing to my wife, myself, our life together and the risk to my livelihood.
Dave often challenged me, but never harassed me: his manner allowed me to feel relatively comfortable, even when squirming within myself at the recollection of some of the unbelievably stupid and risky things that my compulsion had led me to.
The knowledge that I am not alone and that there are ways to overcome the hold that my addiction had and the insight into how the mind works against itself, when in the thrall of self-denial has helped me to make a recovery and has put me back in a position to start to rebuild the trust that my wife once had in me.
Whilst freeing me from the guilt that I carried around constantly, he has made me aware of my responsibility to maintain the behaviour that I now aspire to and has given me a chance to try to right some of the wrongs that my addiction inflicted on my wife.
I am glad that I let myself be bullied into going to see Dave and, ultimately, to see myself, warts an’ all.
Thank you Dave, for your quiet, persistent, effective help.
I went to see David for grief counselling. I was in a terrible state and called him on the off chance that he might fit me in. He was in fact on his way home , but assured me he would turn back and see me in his office straight away.
I was in deep, desperate grief as my Father had died. I was lost and didn’t know how to carry on. I had such a great relationship with my Father and felt adrift without him.
David helped me through my grief and all the fall out consequences of it. I thought I would never be able to cope again. But with patience and guidance, he walked me through it.
I am eternally grateful for his wisdom, candour and advice. Grief is a multi faceted issue, he helped me see through it. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without him.
Thank you David. Your work is so important and much needed.
I just wanted to email you to thank you for making such a phenomenal difference to my life and to my partner’s also. We are both in a really stable and positive place. My partner has landed himself a fantastic job and just a week or so ago he proposed to me and I said yes. Without your help we may not be in this position (engaged!!) and our relationship is much happier and positive. Also… I think the little psychological tip worked. I focused and worked hard independently… I ended up achieving a first in my degree. I am incredibly happy and we cannot thank you enough.
“I came to David at a point of emotional turmoil. With hindsight he helped me in 3 distinct ways:
First was the immediate emergency. He gave me tools to deal with it as well as acting as a crutch, a support and someone to vent to. He made himself available at short notice. It would have been easy to tip into depression, suicidal thoughts or extreme behaviour and David skilfully headed me off. I cant exaggerate how lost I was, my mind fogged with confusion, anger and sadness. He dealt with me like a shocked patient – simple easy steps to get me out of crisis. Once I was in a position to cope he engaged at a deeper level.
My interactions with David then evolved into a distinct second stage, with David helping me to work out why these issues were happening and how I was going to handle them in the longer term. The big questions were ‘How did I get here?’ ‘What ongoing strategies am I going to use?’ ‘How can I avoid these issues in the future?’ To do this required an amount of analysis. Whilst David is supportive, he is not an uncritical observer and he challenged me. He never left me feeling angry or hurt, but it could be painful, especially as I realised my faults and responsibilities. He was supportive here in a way I really needed. Once some of the deeper causes were identified he suggested ways to rethink my approach. He was particularly good on the steps necessary reinforce those new behaviours.
Finally, there was the more positive final stage about where did I want to go from here? Having strengthened me to deal with the crisis in front of me and to avoid damaging behaviours that trapped me in a lifelong cycle I realised he had helped me to partially reinvent myself. In that new place it was life affirming to talk about where I would go from here. I have always been suspicious of the slightly nirvana like plans we make, the type made as you come home from a really good holiday. David was much better at this and great at showing how to make the life you want realistic and achievable.
For me there was a slightly adolescent pleasure in talking about my issues and it would have been easy to stay in this self absorbed state. David doesn’t indulge; David solves and I am enormously grateful to him.
Life now is still sometimes challenging… …I dont know if I make good decisions, but I make them from a more centred and considered place, less buffeted by circumstance. “
David’s caring and professional manner allowed me to completely relax and share my feelings from the outset. His sessions were extremely thought-provoking and gave me a deeper insight and understanding of my problems. With David’s help and homework I was able to address the root cause of my problem. With David’s help I was able to share all that was wrong with my life and lighten the burden which I had carried for so long on my shoulders. I always left the sessions feeling lighter and with clear and defined methods about how to conquer my addiction and ultimately be happy with my life.
I wanted to thank you for your help in dealing with my problems.
As you may remember I first contacted you after looking online for someone who specialised in treating people with my specific addiction.
I had already seen a general counsellor but had been disappointed with the results.
From our first session you immediately made me feel at ease which enabled me to talk freely and frankly to you about my problems.
I found your approach to be very subtle but thought provoking which left me thinking about things long after our sessions had ended.
I am pleased to say that since our sessions have ended 1 have had no desire to return to my previous addiction and consider the treatment to be a complete success.
I am again enjoying a great relationship with my partner (who accompanied me to one session) and we both agree that without your help we may not have been able to get though this with our relationship in such good shape.
I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend you to anyone else who needed similar help.
When I first arrived to meet David I was experiencing huge difficulties in coming to terms with my life situation and my feelings around this. I was overwhelmed by uncertainty, sadness and loneliness. I felt almost paralysed by my own life decisions, unsure as to how I had arrived at this point in my life and even more unsure how to proceed forward… During my time with David it quickly became clear that the one right decision I had made was in making contact with him.
There is a strength about David that shines through and always filled me with great confidence about our work together. My experience of this in a therapeutic relationship aided a contact to my very own well of deep resources – this is an invaluable tool to living my life with integrity. David seems to have a deep, warm and perceptive nature that moves to the heart of the matter, he possesses an enquiring curious nature which requires you to seek a clarity and confidence about your own life. A gift I hadn’t bargained for was the help to locate a peace that I hadn’t know existed within me, priceless.
David is a highly professional ,competent therapist which is served with a great integrity. I struggle to express the full depth of gratitude I have for him.
Having suffered from a problem for the past ten years, I was fortunate enough to discover David.
He has helped me to understand the issues and has given me strategies which have enabled my recovery.
David is the most inspirational and motivational person and with his kindly but professional approach I would not hesitate to recommend him to anybody.
Thank you David
I contacted David at a time in my life when I felt unable to function day to day because my mind was full of unanswered questions. His sensitive, methodical and understanding approach to my individual needs has given me a clearer perspective and a more positive outlook. Through David’s guidance my life is back on track.
If you are feeling hopeless and that your depression will never go then see David. I don’t know what will happen in the future however I do know that should something come back then he is the first person I will be going to.
Having suffered from depression on and off for years I believed that I could never see a way out. The NHS are fantastic for when my depression peaked but the same negative thought patterns would still be hanging around.
At this time I feel so much better than I have done in ages even though one aspect of my life could be a source of stress I’m dealing with it much better.
David looked as if he might be the man to help me when I checked his resume on the internet. And so it has turned out. He answered my call for help within minutes (I left a message) and we have be talking ever since. He has provided just the right balance of challenge and support such that I believe now I understand what happened to me, and more importantly for me, why. It has been a learning experience and a revelation. I only wish I had called him years ago before it became critical.
My sexual addiction had become unmanageable and my life was coming apart fast. Either I get help or leave the family home, that was the ultimatum from my wife and my wake up call to face my problem. I didn’t know where or even how to get help so we bought some books online but they just made things worse with sensationalist stories.
Then my wife found David’s website and arranged an initial meet. I had no idea how I would ever be able to talk to someone about all the things that I had done but I knew I had lost control and I didn’t want to lose my family. Either I saw someone and got help or left the family home. So I chose to go and see David.
He has helped me to help myself to save my life and my family.
Life looks very different now as I become free of shame, guilt, fear, doubt and weak self belief. A year later and we are working together on growing my capacity to cope with and really live a life free from addiction. An outcome I thought was impossible just months ago.
Mr P. A.
“I was feeling overwhelmed with feelings of worthlessness and as I have had a history of depression I looked online for a counselling. I was taken away with just the initial call from David and I am sure that working with him would result in a drastic improvement in my internal thoughts”
Dr B C Trathen Consultant Addictions Psychiatrist
I have worked closely with David Goodlad for over ten years in my capacity as a consultant addiction psychiatrist. David has consistently displayed impressive insight into the emotional makeup of individuals underlying their compulsive behaviours, and the harms those cause. More than this, and knowing him well for over a decade, I can say without doubt he is probably the most accurately empathic and non-judgemental person I know. I would never hesitate to recommend David’s services to anyone suffering from addiction problems, whether these are demonstrated in drug or alcohol misuse, compulsive sexual behaviours, pornography addiction, or other forms.
Mark Gillman, Public Health England
My expertise in addiction is based on public health and criminal justice research and policy. If I have any questions about the treatment of substance addiction or sex addiction I phone a friend. That friend is David Goodlad.
Strategic Recovery Lead
Public Health England
Nikki Sweatman Psychotherapist
“David has a excellent understanding of the issues for those suffering from addiction (including sexual addiction). He also has a detailed knowledge of how it is to live with those suffering from addiction. I have no hesitation in referring clients or relatives to him.”
Re: Professional Testimonial for David Goodlad
I have been working closely with David for 8 years. David came highly recommended through professional colleagues. His knowledge and understanding of addictive behaviour make him a clear leader in this field.
David’s ability to ask the right questions at the right time are what I feel make him unique. His care and compassion are evident in all that he does both professionally and personally.
East Coast Recovery
Chief Executive Officer
‘David is at the forefront of addiction treatment in the UK. Those intent on recovery will find his experience, wisdom and strategies supportive and effective’
Mr J McGhee RSA (MBACP), Psychological Therapies Supervisor